How to Forget

ImageFirst. Remember. Remember everything. Remember the first and the last. Remember how good it felt when she touched you there. Soak yourself, your Self, in the feeling of losing yourself in someone. In something bigger than you could voice. Remember the first time you choked. The last time you screamed. Your shouts, your sighs-remember the silence. Flood yourself, your Self, with the memory of her. Of her being. Her skin. Her soul. Her Self. Drown yourself in every memory. Live it again. And again. Play it on repeat. Feel it with your fingers and your heart. Drench yourself, your Self, in her. In your memory of her. Every good. Every bad. Everything in-between that you still don’t have the words or the language for. Immerse yourself in that time-that time that the room spun just because she was in it. The time you stood so firm because she stood beside you. Inside you. Inside her. Recall what that felt like. When you watched her move to the rhythm you made her follow. Remember where she followed. Where she wouldn’t. Where you could not lead her to. Remember every detail of her. Her feet. Her hair. Her smile when she said yes. Her breath when she said…yes, yes, yes. Remember the cigarette you sucked while you spoke. How her nipples tasted when you sucked those. Remember you in the memory of her. Who you were. Who she made you. Who she made you be. Remember you with her. Remember you. Recall the memory of her in surrender. Her scent. Her smell. Remember her no. Her maybe. Bring it all back. Fill the room with her. Fill you with her. Let her memory spill out the windows and doors. Let her presence be felt by the shortest hair on your head. Remember the longest day you had with her. The day that would not end. Relive the laughter, hers and yours. Remember the journeys-and where they took you. Replay the light and the dark and the colours in between. The storms and the cold. Remember the warm. Bring back the hot. Feed off it. Let it in. Let your pores pour her out of you. Let your flesh marinate in her memory. She is there now. Everything that she is. Everything that she is not. Everything you wanted her to be. All of it. Call it back. Call it in. Her voice. What it did to you. What it didn’t. Remember every detail. Of the back of her neck on a cold day. On a hot day-everyday. We remember what we cannot forget. But we forget what we agree to remember. So remember.  Remember it all. All the pain. The pleasure. Remember what she stood for. Remember the exact moment you knew. That you could swim in her sea until your limbs gave out. That you could. You just could. Remember everything-leave nothing forgotten. Remember it all. Then, say thank you. Kiss her eyes. Kiss her lips. Hold her hand. Look at her. Say thank you. Say goodbye. And now-forget it all.


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